If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character... Would you slow down? Or speed up?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Jokes on you…

Nope, jokes on me. Today I walked out on my family. I called it quits. I ran away from my problems and almost didn't look back. I almost started a new life with no regrets. But I couldn't just leave, I couldn't get that image out of my mind.

I felt weak in the moment of heat. I felt like I was going to be crushed under the pressure. I had to escape before everything came caving in.

I tried to run, I tried to make it all go away. But He wouldn't let me. He told me that they would be waiting for me when I was able to come home. He told me that he loves me and that they were outside waiting for me.

Someone recently asked me how He makes me feel, I really had to think about it, because I wasn't sure about how to put it into words. I'm still not sure that I have it down to a science, but let me give it a try…

He makes me feel like I could fly if I really put my mind to it. He brings up my spirit when it wants to fade into darkness. When I want to run, He reminds me what will be waiting for me when I decide I can make the journey back home. He puts the bounce in my step, and the sparkle in my eyes. He gives me love that I have never experienced before. He is my rock, my support, my thinker when I cant. He doesn't always know what He is to me. But to be honest, He is my everything. find perfection

Friday, April 16, 2010

Another day of Cleaning

Let me just start out by saying that I HATE cleaning :( I love the result and I love the feeling of relief after it is done, but I hate the process. The only time that I really enjoy cleaning is when I am in a bad mood, but I haven’t had any of those moments lately. My husband sent me gorgeous flowers the other day, for no reason other than to remind me that he loves me. My son is growing and learning so many new things. Just yesterday he tried to climb out the window. I couldn't help but laugh at it. Everything in life has been going great.. and now that I say it and once I post it to the web, everything will change. The cosmos have a way of doing that for me. Oh well, I will roll with the punches and throw a few back myself.

I went and visited my mom yesterday, she is doing so well!!! Hopefully she will be coming home on Sunday. Hence the reason for all the cleaning, and its deep cleaning. You know the kind when you get down into the baseboards and you move major kitchen appliances to make sure that you got everything. Thank God that I have sisters that are willing to spend their Saturdays helping me to make sure that this house is turned into a castle for Mom’s big arrival. My mom is a queen and has definitely proved that lately. 


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

New life

For almost a month now, my mom has been in the hospital. She went in for a relatively easy procedure, and ended up having a heart attack and had a quintuple bypass surgery. It was a fight to even get her to go in for the original surgery, because she feared being cut open, and who can blame her? We are all blessed because she was in the hospital at the time of the heart attack, had she not been we would of all thought she was just asleep. I could never accept the fact that we were so close to losing my mom but she did only have a 10% chance of making it at one point. Then it really hit home when one of the nurses talked about our “near death experience in the family”. That was hard to hear. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever listened to.

I’ll admit that i have never fully appreciated everything that my mom does for me. If you would have asked me 4 weeks I would have had a different answer though. Not having her here has been one of the hardest things, it has made me really have to step up 023around the house.

So here I am stuck in the house all the time, making sure that things are taken care of, and I am missing this wonderful weather that we are experiencing!!

Let me just say that I love the fact that my son can be outside in just a diaper and not be freezing. I am really starting to appreciate life and I thoroughly enjoy that factor :D

Well now its onto more laundry, scrubbing, dusting and things of that nature. I hope you all have a good day and a better nights rest.