If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character... Would you slow down? Or speed up?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Today marks one week for me having no soda… I haven’t drank anything more than water and milk so far. Luckily I am not having as hard of a time as I was expecting. The reason that this is a big mark for me is because it also marks one week of me changing my life around. I stopped drinking soda, I am trying my hardest to eat healthier, and I am going to get my life back.

When I got pregnant with the most amazing little boy I put on a lot of weight. I used the excuse that I was pregnant so I could eat what I wanted when I wanted and no one could question me. Well I was wrong, I should have known better, I felt like I had struggled with my weight all my life. But no, I ignored all “the smarts” that I am supposed to have, and went all out for it.

To add on top of all that needless eating that I had done for 9 months, I ended up spending a month on the couch after Jaiden was born because of the c-section that I had. Then I spent another 5 months not doing anything, but staying inside all day and watching TV. I never realized how bad it was until one day I walked outside (we were living with my parents at the time) and my Dad looked at me and said “What are you doing? You don’t come outside” It hit me that maybe I was really becoming that lazy person that nobody ever wants to be.

Well, here I am 3 years later and up until a week ago I haven’t made any changes in my life. I keep saying that I will, keep saying that I want to, but never ever following through. My weight has put so many unnecessary issues in my life. I am so down on myself that my marriage suffers. I don’t have the energy so I don’t play with my son like he deserves.  I don’t have enough self worth to make me realize my full potential. It (the weight) has caused other emotional journeys that I still have  a hard time thinking about them.

So here I am, taking a stand for my life and all those in it. I am going to make a change and this time there is no turning back or making excuses.

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