If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character... Would you slow down? Or speed up?

Sunday, February 10, 2013


Some days I feel like I am on an island, like no one can possibly come close to knowing what I am going through. I know that I am not the first person to be diagnosed with this and I know that I will not be the last person to hear this news. Yet there are still hours and days that I find myself stranded.

I have tried my entire life not to take the victim role in life, but this time it has been more than a daunting task put in front of me.

What do you do when your world around your is shattering around you and try as you might you can’t pick up the pieces fast enough?

Monday, February 4, 2013


I have learned that everything thing in life takes steps. There is no such thing as instant gratification. Even when you think that something was handed to you by the universe without an ounce of work from you... you are wrong. There will always be something missing... it will never fully satisfy. If you want to appreciate what you have and you want it to last than you need to get up and work yourself until you are dead tired and then keep going. That way when you achieve your goal you know that no one can take that away from you.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

I'm back

About two months ago I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome or disease depending on who you ask.

I got told that my son is a miracle.

I got told that chances of me carrying another pregnancy full term are very little.

I got told that my body doesn't do what it's supposed to when it's supposed to.

I heard that I won't be able to give my husband the big family he wants.

I heard that I will struggle with my weight and that i have to work harder than anyone around me.

I heard that my body is broken.

I was handed prescriptions that I will have to take for the rest of my life in hopes they control this.

I was handed too much information and my brain shut down.

Somedays I cope and think that I can face this head on. Other times I crawl into the corner of my mind and beg not to be disturbed.