If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character... Would you slow down? Or speed up?

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Finally home...

So today at work one of the first people I talked to decided that by lying he would get what he wanted from me. After talking to him for almost 5 minutes and getting nowhere he finally said "i have been lying to you this whole time" Like all the sudden if he told me that he had been lying i was going to do what he wanted me to do. Well without saying it didn't get him the results he wanted, instead he started screaming at me so I hung up on him, and for some reason that brought me to tears. I sat there while typing in my notes about the call and wondered to myself "Why am i letting someone that has no idea who i am affect me this way?" I ended walking off the floor for a few minutes so that I could collect my thoughts so that the next person that called could benefit from the information I could give them. But all day I keep thinking back to it... Why do people think that lying is an option? I cant say that I have never lied, because that in and of itself would be a lie. But every time that I have it has eaten at me and gotten down to the very core of who I am. Lying goes back to when our world first began with Adam and Eve, when Satan lied to Eve by saying that if she ate the fruit she would not die. So is lying human nature? Or is it something that we are taught? and why ... even after seeing the ramifications of our actions do we still keep doing it? and does lying make us a bad person? If we lie because we know that it will save someones feelings does that mean we are a horrible person? I want to say that even after questioning this that I will never lie again, but that, again, would be a lie in and of itself. I want to say that thinking about this for over 8 hours has made me realize how lying gets us nowhere and if anything it sets us back 10 paces. But I can't come to terms with that. I know that I will never lie to save someones feelings ever again, I have seen that one come back on me too many times. But I cant say that I will never lie ever again, I owe myself too much honesty for that one.

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