I was looking through all of my pictures and decided this was the only that could come close to being my favorite of all time. Of course it is a bridal picture so I better like it somewhat, but I don’t really like pictures of myself. I feel like they never capture just right, or my head could have been turned just a little more to hide that chunk of chub there or something can always be just a little bit different. I guess that is what happens when you have low self esteem though, there are times that you just have to take what the picture gives you and go with it, even when you don't want to.
Since JR high I have had really bad self esteem, and I feel that I have done an ok job hiding it up until recently. But maybe that is just a lie to myself, maybe I have never really hid it and now I am just accepting the fact that it is there now. I feel so in a funk because of it and I know what I need to do to fix it, but the motivation for some reason isn’t ever there. Maybe I am a lost cause and in the depths of my brain I know that, but the rest of me hasn’t quite accepted that reality yet.