Day 13: Goals

This post has been staring me in the face for a few days now… every once in a while I come to it and try to write something and then I end up deleting everything and walking away again. It has become a contest between me and this blank screen, and up until now I was losing drastically.

I have come to realize over the past few days that I don’t set goals for myself. I think it is because in the past I have set goals and then I don’t have the motivation to achieve them. It seems like motivation has always been a problem for me and I am not really sure why.

So my goal: is to finally set a goal and achieve it.

Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without

Day 11: Favorite tv shows

 

I love Pretty Little Liars. It is a show about four girls that are really good friends with a girl that went missing before the show started. A year after her disappearance is when we meet the girls and they are all getting these messages from someone named “A” that is blackmailing them and pretty much has it out for them. Of course the four girls band together as they are trying to figure out who this “A” person is. Of course secrets are uncovered and the only person that could know them is their friend that went missing that was found dead. Interesting right?

This is a pretty new show… there has only been 2 episodes but so far it is really good. It is about 3 young doctors that go to a clinic in South Africa to work there. They are getting used to not having all the modern day stuff like we do here in the US and they are having to find a way to work with the locals who mostly speak Spanish and don't always believe in modern medicine.

 

What more needs to be said about Glee? It is an amazing show that can evoke a lot of emotion out of me and I can’t wait for it to come back on.

This is a great show about vampires. There are 2 brothers that are both vampires and there is a girl that is not. The one brother (Stefan) goes back to Mystic Falls because he wants to meet the girl (Elena) because she looks just like his ex (Katherine, who turned both him and his brother to vampires) whom every vampire thinks is dead. Well after Stefan meets Elena and they start to talk, the brother (Damon) shows up to start causing mayhem. Then they find out that all the vampires in the world pretty much are after Elena because she looks just like Katherine who turns out to still be alive. So Stefan and Damon band together to protect Elena.

The Biggest Loser has definitely became my favorite show to watch. It is giving me so much motivation to finally start changing my life for the better. I love being able to watch the show and take the journey with each of the contestants and I find myself cheering them on and getting anxious each week when someone has to go home. I love that this show is on TV because it is proving that everyone can do what they want to, just have to have motivation and the drive.

Day 10: Something you're afraid of

fail·ure

[feyl-yer]  Show IPA–noun 1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: His effort ended in failure. The campaign was a failure. 2. nonperformance of something due, required, or expected: a failure to do what one has promised; a failure to appear.  3. a subnormal quantity or quality; an insufficiency: the failure of crops. 4. deterioration or decay, esp. of vigor, strength, etc.: The failure of her health made retirement necessary. 5. a condition of being bankrupt by reason of insolvency. 6. a becoming insolvent or bankrupt: the failure of a bank. 7. a person or thing that proves unsuccessful: He is a failure in his career. The cake is a failure.

Failure is my biggest fear. I am afraid that I will fail at life, afraid that I’ll fail at raising my child, afraid that I will fail at being a good wife to my husband. Sometimes I am not really sure what failure is. Who defines failure? Why does it seem to  always consume my life? I am so afraid sometimes that one wrong step will set me off on a downward tail spin to my end.

I pray every day that no matter what I wont fail, that my child wont suffer the consequences of my poor choices. I pray that my husband will be happy when he thinks about me and is happy that I am the one that he comes home to. These things haunt my dreams.

Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend

My husband is by far my best friend. He is someone that I know will be there for me no matter what, even if I piss him off he wont turn his back on me.  We haven’t had the dream life, but we do live a dream together. When we met I was only 16 and he had just turned 20. When we met I told him “I never want to get married and I never want to have kids.” I had just been in a very turmoil relationship and was still trying to recover, I also hadn’t planned on being in a relationship.

When I fell for Coty, I fell hard. He had literally just got out of a relationship and I wasn’t sure that he would be ready for me. Well I was willing to take the risk and it paid out.

When we found out I was pregnant, it was the January after I turned 17 and only a short 7 months after we met. Everything was a whirlwind from there. We got married March 2008, he watched me walk for my high school graduation in June 2008 when I was 6 months pregnant, I turned 18 August 2008 and then our wonderful son was born September 2008.

It is so crazy to look back and see how far we have come. I could have never imagined this would be my life when I met him. I figured that it would just be one chapter in my life, but it is becoming so much more.

Day 8: A place you've traveled to

Thanks to the in-laws we were very blessed to be taken on a 7 day southern Caribbean Cruise last June. It was so much fun and definitely the best vacation I have ever been on. We left port from San Juan, Puerto Rico and had stops every day. We visited St. Thomas, Barbados, Dominica, St. Lucia, St. Kitts, St. Maarten. 

This is the bay that we were dropped off in after going snorkeling while at St. Kitts. The place that we went snorkeling is called Shittens Bay.

 

Here are some shots from the boat that we went snorkeling on

   

These are some pictures that I got while going on a tour of St. Lucia

This is us walking up the port of St. Kitts

This is the boat we were on for the cruise

Some pictures from St. Thomas after going on a ride to the top of a hill there.

Picture of the hill we went up in St. Thomas

Picture of Coty and me on the cruise ship

Coty and Jaime rocking out with the guys in Dominica

Day 7: Favorite movies

 

Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 5: A song to match my mood

Billionaire by Travis McCoy

[Bruno Mars]
I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad
Buy all of the things I never had
Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen
[Chorus]
Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shining lights
A different city every night oh
I swear the world better prepare
For when I’m a billionaire
[Travis "Travie" McCoy]
Yeah I would have a show like Oprah
I would be the host of, everyday Christmas
Give Travie a wish list
I’d probably pull an Angelina and Brad Pitt
And adopt a bunch of babies that ain’t never had sh-t
Give away a few Mercedes like here lady have this
And last but not least grant somebody their last wish
Its been a couple months since I’ve single so
You can call me Travie Claus minus the Ho Ho
Get it, hehe, I’d probably visit where Katrina hit
And damn sure do a lot more than FEMA did
Yeah can’t forget about me stupid
Everywhere I go Imma have my own theme music
[Chorus]
Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shining lights
A different city every night oh
I swear the world better prepare
For when I’m a billionaire
Oh oooh oh oooh for when I’m a Billionaire
Oh oooh oh oooh for when I’m a Billionaire
[Travis "Travie" McCoy]
I’ll be playing basketball with the President
Dunking on his delegates
Then I’ll compliment him on his political etiquette
Toss a couple milli in the air just for the heck of it
But keep the fives, twentys (?) completely separate
And yeah I’ll be in a whole new tax bracket
We in recession but let me take a crack at it
I’ll probably take whatevers left and just split it up
So everybody that I love can have a couple bucks
And not a single tummy around me would know what hungry was
Eating good sleeping soundly
I know we all have a similar dream
Go in your pocket pull out your wallet
And put it in the air and sing
[Bruno Mars]
I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad
Buy all of the things I never had
Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen
[Chorus]
I wanna be a billionaire so frickin bad!

Yupp… That pretty much sums it up.

Day 4: My Parents

So I am not really sure where to start with this blog post… My parents? Well what about my parents?
What are their names? Pamela (Pam) Jean and Kelvin Scott Anderson.
Where are they from?  Mom was born in Boise, ID and Dad was born in Salina, UT.
My parents are the reason that I am who I am today, but anybody’s parents are… right? If you would have asked me a few years ago whether or not I believed that I would have said no, absolutely not. I was the kid that believed that I had the most horrible parents in the world and I couldn’t come up with a good thing to say about them. Ask me today… I love my parents, I may not always get along with them but I definitely always love them. My dad and I have always seemed to understand each other pretty well, we can talk without really saying much and leave the room with the world lifted off our shoulders, or at least I know that is how I feel when I am done talking to him. My mom and I on the other hand have had our ups and downs. I can say though, that ever since I became a mom myself I have a new found respect for my mother.
Both of my parents are extremely strong people and I am glad to call them my parents. I am glad to say that I am a product of their teachings and I love them both dearly.

Day 3: Your first love

My first love.. well that is obvious Coty James Rohan. He is my first true love, the first boy to have come across in my life that I could completely trust and open up to. The moment I met him I could be myself around him and he could do the same around me. I not only love him, but I love who I am when I am around him and who he is helping me day by day become. He helps me be a better mother to our son all the time. I honestly believe that without him I wouldn’t have been able to make it where I am. He is my biggest supporter and closest friend.

Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name

Mama – Because I am a mom. Literally, I have a child.  But it is also figuratively because all I can do is care for others. I know there are a lot of times that it may not seem as though I am continually looking out for people, but those that I care about… I am constantly making sure they are ok even if I don’t talk to them for a while or visit often … I check in.

Squeaks – Because I squeak when I laugh so I have inherited this as my nickname. I feel at times as though it sums me up pretty well. I can be a very fun outgoing person and I have been told that my personality can be as infectious as my laugh. I make people come out of their shells.

Ramblings – Well that is simple, I ramble when I talk. I go from subject to subject to subject without really ever saying much and since this blog is all about the things inside my head it seems fit to call it my ramblings.

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

My name is Hannah Marie Rohan. I am 20 years young, wife to an amazing man and mother to a gorgeous little boy. I am a paralegal at Lexington Law Firm where I love my job but I hate my hours. I am living life to the fullest every day and I am excited to see where this adventure takes me.  This is the most recent picture I have of myself… I tend to be behind the camera so I don’t get caught a lot. But this is all my family minus my 2 brothers-in-law.

This next part is going to be hard, I don't find things about myself interesting. I just see them as being part of me and I do not tend to be an interesting person.
15 interesting facts about myself:

1. I am the youngest of 3 girls by 17 and 14 years
2. I am the tallest girl in my family (I am slouching in the picture and heels take away my advantage)
3. I love photography
4. I suffer from insomnia
5. If I could live anywhere it would be Seattle, WA or Clearlake, CA
6. I used to have a dog that was 1 year older than me that passed away when I was 17
7. I am a natural red head, though some would beg to differ that I am a natural blonde because of my actions :)
8. I squeak when I laugh
9. I broke both my elbows at the same time
10. I have a very hard time holding a grudge against someone
11. I got married, graduated high school, turned 18 and had my first child in that order and all in 6 months.
12. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up
13. I feel like running away some days and then I look at my son and remember why I am here
14. I often wonder why I am so blessed after living a less than acceptable life
15. I pray to God every day

30 Day Challenge

So I haven’t been posting for awhile and it is mainly because I can’t find inspiration anywhere to save my life :( although I do think that my posts will include a lot more pictures since i got an amazing new camera for Christmas :) (thanks husband). So to get the creative juices going, I am going to be doing a 30 day blog challenge… wish me luck :)

Day 0: The 30 Day Challenge Explanation and Description
Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3: Your first love
Day 4: Your parents
Day 5: A song to match your mood
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: Favorite TV shows
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: Goals
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
Day 15: Bible verse
Day 16: Dream house
Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Nicknames
Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Day 22: What's in your purse?
Day 23: Favorite Movie
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
Day 28: Something that stresses you out
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge